michael vick...the unpopular opinion...



so we finally nailed this bastard and if you ask me, 23 months is not enough time for his despicable and heinous acts...i mean what he did to those little girls was deplorable to say the least...wait...what's that...there were no little girls involved...oh yeah...my bad...how he molested those little boys was definitely a travesty...huh...he didn't do that either...was there a rape involved...at least a random party go-er with a black eye...no...so what did he do exactly...what...say that again...he killed some dogs...you're kidding me right...so catholic priest can play with pre-pubescent privates and get relocated but mr vick gets fed time for killing some pit bulls...was the pit bull recently added to the endangered species list...are these pit bulls more cuddly and friendly than the ones i remember from my youth...they're not huh...well then i don't see what the big deal is...in the weeks leading up to michael vicks dog fighting confessions and subsequent sentencing, i sat idly by watching him get torched in the media and in the court of public opinion...every part of me wanted to be as outraged as everyone else seemed to be...kinda like when you're in church and everybody gets the holy ghost and it somehow skips you over...but at some point i had to come to grips with the fact that i don't really love dogs that much...i mean...i don't dislike them enough to drown them or hang them...but, unlike most of america i have them placed in a category that i like to call "animal"...you know...the group that also contains the likes of deer, minks, rats, chinchilla, rabbits, turkeys, chickens, ducks, quails, cows, salmon etc...america, in all of its glory, still seems to have something to learn about crime and punishment...we're losing young men and women by the thousands over in iraq for oil...6 young men in jena la are currently being railroaded by the american justice system...there are untold thousands of PEOPLE living under overpasses and eating from garbage cans...our educational system is failing...genocide in darfur...women getting beaten and raped...drugs and violence running rampant in our communities...my local liquor store raised the price of hennessey...etc etc...but all this hooplah about a dead animal...we have whole seasons dedicated to killing animals...then we chop their heads off and hang them on our walls...at least these pits got the opportunity to fight for their right to live unlike bambi and them...so...with all that said...allow me to be the first to say...fuck a dog...free mike vick.......and stop looking at me like that...i'm just sayin...

like I always do at this time…


you already know what it is…work has been all up in my innards recently so I haven’t had a chance to play with the keyboard like I really would like to but I still had to hit you with the thanksgiving 2007 list…just a “few” people/things/memories that I’m still thankful for…and with that…I bring to you…thanksgiving 3.0…

p craig for repeatedly correcting my grammar...i really didn’t understand it back then...
k craig for periodically spitting in that dudes water...
f craig for biting my jaw when you were supposed to be kissing my cheek...
m joshi for getting more love than me on my b-day weekend…
s bell for rolling to st. george island that one time...
s brown for putting me up on the hattiesburg night life…
c gunn for inviting me to 2 of the best times of 2007…
mrs. c gunn for rescuing the homie from this dirty game...
s murphy for teaching me philipino curse words…
m story for at least giving me a chance to get at some of these ladies…
e barnes for that one blog idea...and the always timely rcd’s...
t baker for joining me and the homies at the pre-b-day party lunch
r gherls for thugging through your sickness to meet me in columbus circle...
t houston-riley for deciding to do THAT again…congratulations…
f carter for only calling me with bad news…
t matthews for rolling with me to the fake bennihana’s...
b jones for checking on the old crib in my absence...
j holiday protecting me at elevations...the club on the hill…
e jenkins for taking in the brazilian rhythms…
m lilly for showing me what true anita baker love looks like…
t noel for making it happen for black folks in the rock…
r noel for serving up them hors d’oeuvres…
t brown for missing all my parties…
k yokely for putting me on the roomie…
c hampshire for the hook up on them goodies… http://www.southerngirldesserts.com/
t woodbury for getting your boy to get us them drinks at the bowling alley…
q wilson for that stair tent thing…oh and that a & s scenario…
n azali for being the only cincy cat I haven’t heard from…what’s up nucca…
e azali for allowing me to help you curb your drinking problem…
y caviness for canceling t-giving…who does that…
c strickland for allowing me to hold on to the evoo until i get some liquor in return...
s baxter for that whole yacht idea…
t slaughter for always being willing to pop off a 3 way…the old school way…
e rutledge for making that move out west…I know it’s coming…
ap brodie for choosing to disappear for all of 2007…
ad brodie for continuing to threaten to move away…
a plana for joining me at the standard…
b howell for taking in the rose parade through the window…
d jones for them new connects…
t massey for hosting the post game after party that one night…
j mcduffie for turning my first time into a movie…I just need my royalty check…
y baez for putting me on “kiss n grind”…although I haven’t been back yet…
j holt for giving me the update on that monroe water situation…
r dailey for being the passport stamp “gettin’est” cat I know…
l u mccarly for keeping me posted on the worlds financial matters…
s mclendon for acting grown in the chi…
l jenkins for one of the longest anonymous conversations in recent (and not so recent) history…
r rosemond for at least trying to steer me in the “write” direction…
j n battle for putting me up on spots in my own neighborhood…
w clark for keeping me on top of the latest cincy happenings…
b beasely davis for the greatest myspace message ever...
w cooper for putting me down with all the hollywood starlets…
a lewis for repping the rock and rosebudd…
c adams for still being the most foolish cat I know…
k robinson for giving me my very own weekend...
c mcdade for sneaking in to LA and stealing ladies when we’re not looking…
a marsh just cuz I kinda miss them house parties…
j harris for randomly appearing at ucla that one day...
s oscar for never coming to visit…whahappen…
s koiner for given me the opportunity to “converse” with ms. knowles....
d gould for convincing me to join the las vegas caravan...
e hillsman for being frank lucas jr...p days for losing your keys…hilarious…
r robertson for taking care of all the ladies that matt and cj left behind…
a nesbitt for just giving me a glimpse of your nyc life…
r maples for the 2nd livest b-day celebration of 07 ;-)...
s owens for making them moves up in detroit…
m ewing for never telling me about the new homies...
m ford for falling off the face of the planet after you moved out…
t eppenger for getting me to the roof at verve...
m vick for trying to buy up the whole hometown…
h chu - horton for giving me my first catholic wedding experience…
r solomon always holding me down in the city...
c wright for always canceling on me…
j davis for hooking me up with your sister…it’s about that time…
s quinlan for letting me tag along with you and the homies…
t parker for refusing to shake my hand when we 1st met…
d williams for introducing me to all your friends…you were a good investment…
b simmonds for making that last minute appearance at the b-day joint...
m geter-cartright for intimidating me to come clean…”us mariness”…
d bullard for being a young legit rick ross…
j brown for not taking advantage of me…
t harris for the dyson...
c ingram for the new addition…still waiting on that call though…
s binns for not sharing any of them cookies…
c james for running up on me at circuit city that one time…
w kolston for not inviting me up…
s fulgham for periodically dipping into that diary…
an lewis for still not giving in to the virtual friend craze…
d fowler for calling to invite me somewhere then never calling again…m bolden-?????? for the little skunk…congrats homie…
k brown staying on that grind…and not keeping up with your boy at all…
s daniel for periodically changing my name for no reason…
s moore for inviting us to the surprise b-day celebration in the lou that time…
e vanross for protecting me in syracuse…never knew it was that real…
a hodgen for vacuuming that one time…and for controlling the b-ham drug game...
c kinnebrew for black film fest weekend…oh wait a minute…
m mobley never inviting me to the chi town mansion…
a 3000 for the hottest verse of the 2007…

little rock…I’m there 12/21 – 12/26
then I’m fallin through atlanta for new year’s (12/29 - 1/2)…anybody planning on being in the area hit me up…

walk with me...

while talking with one of the la homies (who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) a few nights ago the question came up...can you name your top life memories...those points in life where it just seemed like for a few seconds, hours, or maybe even the whole day, you were on top of the world...we didn’t get far into the list before the party got broken up, but it did get me to thinking...and while i thought through those times in life i couldn’t help but smile...so i decided to jot a few of them down...and after doing so i decided that i’d like to share them with you in my favorite arena...the blog (yup, imma make it seem like this was all my idea)...in these times where we tend to find ourselves caught up in the minuscule manure life hast to offer, it's nice to pause for a moment and remember those times that really make life worth living...so please...walk with me for a second...before i get started i’d like to thank any of you that helped make any of these memories possible...

• summer 1994...the 1st time in my life i realized that being black and intelligent was not only acceptable but was actually cool in some segments of the population...
• dec 17 1999 college graduation...and feeling like my days of being poor were over forever...
  
• miami memorial day 2003 my first vip experience...bottles popping random lap dances...realizing that this is what all the hard work was for...
  
• the night i found the set at fam during freshmen orientation...turned into a week long collar popping festival...dipping back to the room with pockets full of 4 digit numbers...
  
• one random friday about 7 weeks into my first semester at fam i got a calculus test back that i had set the curve on...it was then that i realized that college wasn't as hard as everybody had told me and that i could prolly pull it off...
  
• feb-mar 1998...the first time i met adult love...which surprisingly was way better than jun 1989 when i met sex...
  
• talking with pops about how i was "dating" twins in 3rd grade...
• the moment you realize you've made a new friend...
  
• standing for my high school “head band”graduation speech...

• 1st runner up mr housing in 95...and seeing everybody boo the winner and walk out cuz they thought i should've won... and i still think i got shafted in the mr magic joint...
  
• getting crowd love after freestyling on stage at the ll cool j homecoming concert in 96 after the 3 cats ahead of me got boo'ed...

• getting crowd love (even from kid capri and a pre fame jay z) after freestyling in a crowded hotel lobby in miami at the “how can i be down” conf in 96
  
• hearing myself on the radio rapping for the first...96...i was a rapping azz dude back then... "ladies and gents cleanse your ears so you can hear me, it's the 3rd episode of the college cool out series..."shout out to kookieman.com
  
• that first slow dance back in 90...that is correct i got some booty before i ever had my first slow dance...
  
• anytime a friend opens up to me for the 1st time... no you're not talking my ear off...
  
• anytime a blog follower tells me what made them laugh...
  
• anytime i've realized that somebody i like, likes me back...84 - pres
  
• the feeling i get anytime i realize i've come up with the perfect gift...
  
• receiving the perfect gift...impulsive buyers are hard to shop for...last one was prolly 06 though...
  
• anytime i go back and read the messages in my old yearbooks...
  
• sitting up and listening to my grandfather tell stories...86 - 03...
  
• being that ish talking spades player back in gibbs hall 95..."go ahead and put your ___ away cuz you can't ___ with this"
  
• buying my first bottle of henn...1999
  
• buying my first bottle of henn in a club...2004..wasn't really henn though...
  
• buying my first bottle of henn in a club and not thinking about it for weeks later...2007
  
• when my pops use to show up and dance in me an my sisters bedroom door in his draws 1984...hilarious
  
• holding a dating clinic for 14 chicks in the lobby of mc/dia valentines day 96... i started that "he's really not that into you" stuff...
  
• the going away party in cincy mar 06... so much love...
  
• the bday extravaganzicificatiotarinorium mar 07 ...again...so much love...
  
• the french fry/frosty dares in 97...you could've just asked me to come over...
  
• hearing a song (especially an older one) and having the lyrics make sense to me for the 1st time due to life experiences...

now my challenge to you...take a minute and reply/comment back with your top 5 or 10...i would say you could just write them down on your own but i'm not really sure i can trust you to do that without me looking over your shoulder...

donde esta' la bibliotheca, pedro...

alert the authorities cuz i've breached the borders again...this time to the only place in the world with more mexicans than l. a...and no it's not texas...that's right...mexico...home of piñatas, taco bell and chihuahuas...it's north america's version of "one of these kids is doing his own thing"...or maybe more like bruh man from martin the way they keep sneaking into the country...

mexico invented hustling...simply stated, mexico is what jamaica wants to be when it grows up...

when i visit a new country i'm usually hell bent on ditching the hotel room to hug a few locals, but mexico didn't really give me that "come hug me" vibe...sure it was cool that you could buy newspapers, chico sticks, marlboros, cotton candy, batteries, a stop watch, a clown suit, and an 11 year old drug mule on the same corner...from the same 8 year old kid...but all that "let me put this gun in your face so i can relieve you of all your valuables" madness...not cool...it probably didn't help that i was in the real mexico not that soft touristy cabo/cancun jive everyone always raves about...nope...i was in cuernavaca...it's spanish for "what am i going to do with all this dope"...i think i just made that up...however it is a widely known fact that mexico is mustache deep in the drug trade...trafficking billions of dollars of blow straight across the border by any means necessary...it's so deep that i'm almost positive our little shampoo making operation down there is just a front to move more of that powder...there's got to be a reason why the plant has armed guards...and the plant manager wears a vest and rides in a maybach...and they make the employees get naked when they come to work...or maybe the ladies just did that because i was there...that was a joke mr. unilever...please don't relieve me of my shampoo flipping duties...unless you plan to give me a sizeable severance package that would allow me to lay up in a hammock, eat honey buns and write until my wit bleeds...i digress...

so i managed to survive my stint in the deep deep south without getting kidnapped, mugged or shaken down by local law enforcement...i did get a chance to tour some of cuernavaca and mexico city...both very colorful places...like maybe at some point in their history they pissed off crayola, the god of color, and he rained down hues upon them with great wrath and fury...or maybe somebody put mexico city in the washing machine with a 16 pack of magic markers...in any event, riding around looking at the buildings made me feel like i was stuck in some super-sized kaleidoscope...or maybe i was just stuck at the intersection of lsd and sherwin williams...

all in all, mexico was a positive experience...the hotel was banging...and so were some of the chicas...due to the work schedule and my bitching up at the prospects of going it alone at night, i didn't really make any new friends...but i did get to see my first cock fight...or maybe those were just feathered mexican midgets...whatever they were, they were fierce...and i managed to escape the ire of mr montezuma...to those unaware...montezuma's revenge is the term given to the watery ass-fire that usually ensues when unsuspecting americans drink from the tap (or other beverages containing local water)down here...a couple of the co-workers got done in...not pretty..

...and with that, i'll sign off but not without dispersing a few pesos (they've been grossed up to account for the conversion rate)...

417 pesos to m joshi...congrats on the promo...it was long overdue...
604 pesos to f craig...welcome to the world of steady checks...
331 pesos to s brown, t houston and l parker...welcome to the dirty thirty club...
173 pesos to l jenkins for being the first one to read down this far...
279 pesos to h box for getting me acquainted with 17 different crushes...even though i don't even know 17 people...
954 pesos to c attucks for surviving another move...
263 pesos to m wright and l mccarley in lieu of real bday presents...
262 pesos to y caviness in lieu of a real house warming present...
589 pesos to k kinte for keeping it real...
-230 pesos to s bell for being a copy cat...
11 pesos to e barnes for repetitive assessments of my dining practices...
333 pesos to m ewing to split equally between you and your 2 new friends...
179 pesos to j mcduffie for giving me my first role in a major film...you've received pesos so now you're locked into it...
56 pesos to j davis for hooking me up with big sister davis...
506 pesos to r dailey for taking the white man out of the drug trade...

whew...looks like i'm peso'ed out...

taking you old school...


now you know i had to do it...i told myself...i said "self...you're supposed to be writing this book...you need to save these words or face some form of corporal punishment"...but once i smelled that foreign air...shoooot...you know "self' couldn't resist...now turn to your neighbor and say "neighbor, i don't know why the hell i'm talking to you when i should be reading the most interesting blog posted this week...about europe...in english...containing the term extravaganzicificatiotarinorium"

now where should i begin...oh yeah...my intro...ahem...what up folks...it's your boy mikecraig...aka mr dirty thirty...

i know it's early but i'd like to pause for a second, if i may to reflect on the "i'm so hot still" b-day weekend extravaganzicificatiotarinorium...i would def like to thank all who made that trip out west to help your boy say hello to tre O...to those that missed it...you really really missed it...special shouts to my co host for the weekend...r dailey and s baxter...also thanks to those who couldn't attend but were still thoughtful enough to hit me with those birthday shouts through email, text, phone calls, myspace msg and comments, facebook wall postings and msgs, cards sent through the usps sans cash, cookie boxes, cookie canisters and telepathic "i really forgot your birthday but you know i still love you's"...and now back to our regularly scheduled foolishness...

...aka mr "you ain't got enough stamps in your passport to cuf with young michael...international"...aka mr "i wish he would get started already"...aka mr "it's my blog i'll write when i want to" ...as has become customary since nov 2001, when my passport gets a new stamp, you get a new story...or series of stories...so here's how this trip should unfold:

3/11 early pm- leave la and all the b-day love...
3/11 later pm - post up in ohare for a few hours before making that huge leap across the pond
3/12 am - arrive in london uk
3/12 pm - jump over to munich germany
3/13 pm - bounce up to hamburg germany (layover in london)
3/17 am - shoot over to barcelona spain (layover in london)
3/22 am - back to london (go hard in london for one night)
3/23 pm - another european tour bites the dust...

i don't know about you, but i'm tired just thinking about it...

3/12 local time 11:13 am
ok...wrinkle number 1...my flight to chicago, became my flight to jfk...apparently my suitcase wasn't quite ready to leave the country so he decided to chill in jfk a little longer...and of course he decided not to let me know...so imagine my surprise as i go to claim my bag and there are no more bags left to claim...so i walk to the baggage service counter...within the first 37 seconds of standing there, i was informed that my bag didn't make the london flight...no shit...but i appreciated the prompt response...but i was wondering...since they obviously knew...couldn't they have just told me that while i was on the plane...like "i have some connecting flight information and oh, by the way...mr craig, you going to baggage claim now would be like a parapalegic getting a 43 minute butt massage...time consuming and pointless"...or "you walkin outta here with your bag is like a man with no arms trying to do a cart wheel...prolly not gon happen"...ooh...or "your bag is in the land of seven year olds' front teeth, shaq's free throws and black fathers... "missing"...but the dude seemed cool enough, we came up with a plan that should help me reconnect with my bag fairly soon and i went off to get acclamated to my new uk surroundings...but i forgot to turn my currency calculator on as i proceeded to spend 51 pounds ($102) on jeans, 23 pounds ($46) on draws and 27 pounds ($54) on undershirts...me and mr american airlines are going to have long talk or a short talk and a big misunderstanding when i get back...

3/14 local time 3:43 pm
hamburg we have a problem...since i was only in munich for 1 day, i told the airline not to forward the bag there...just thought it would be easier to have them send it to the next stop on the "b-day afterglow european tour" which was hamburg...i must've been mistaken because it is now wed and the bag is somewhere between hamburg and lost...and my guess is it's closer to lost...and to compound my hamburg problems a wee bit, i get to my rental car, with the gps system i requested only to find said system in german...SCHEISSE...that's every curse word in german...unfortunately my german is not exactly fluent...i know how to count to 3 and as you can see...how to curse...and that's really only good for counting how many pairs of draws i currently have in my possesion...and expressing my displeasure...lucky for me, i was the last car to be picked up that night and the avis guy saw me sobbing on his way out...ok, i wasn't really crying i was just trying to wash my cheeks with salt water...daang...any way...he asked me if all was well...i informed him that i had not seen "well" in a few days, but if we could get this gps joint into english i might be able to track it down...michael said it and it is done...

3/15 local time 1:12 am
my bag showed up today...and i just rediscovered german tv after midnight...i don't know exactly what they're selling but from the visuals it must be some kind of breast/vaginal cream...

3/17 local time 6:12 am
just got in from the "reeperbahn" in hamburg...it's the red light/club district in the city...i came across one of those black hip hop parties that i so enjoyed on previous trips to germany...this one was actually even better...from the moment i walked in, i felt like i was the "scheisse"...i was standing on the side of the dance floor gripping my newly purchased jack and cola when i noticed mad chicks starting to congregate in front of me...grindin on each other like they do in all of my club dreams... side bar...watching people dance in germany is probably a glimse into how white people in the us would dance if they didn't have bet to immulate... so as a stood there in near amazement one of the bouncers/dj's friends invited me up to the vip section...and all i could think was "damn...it get's better than this"...must be the copper wings on the new rocawear jacket...so now that my drinks were covered for the rest of the night i made myself comfortable between a couch and said bucket o' dranky drank...about 29 mins later they decided to have a 100 euro "shake your (woman private)" contest...which i now had a front row seat to...not quite as liberal as those spur of the moment skin to win contest back at fam...but entertaining none the less...throughout the night i found out that they had mad brothels and for 50 euro you can "make party with girls"...if only i hadn't bought that drink...the winner of the contest did offer to ride back to the hotel with me since my german wasn't so good (i must be wearing 30 well)...but after seeing what she did in that contest, i had to turn that down...got a flight to catch in a few hours and having a heart attack would probably make me late...now i guess i'll have to "make party with myself"...

3/17 local time 7:41 pm
so we arrived in barcelona today via british airways flight 480...in economy class...i never knew there was anything less than coach...maybe because on most flights there isn't...but on this particular flight...this flight right here...this flight right here ninja...there was such a thing...i felt like i was on soul plane...the seats were less cushioned and smaller...our tv monitor was in black and white...they didn't give us any safety instructions...the lavratory was a hole out the side of the plane...so when people went in, everybody on that side of the plane had to let their windows back up...as a snack, they just passed around a bag of sun flower seeds...unsalted...and a jug of red drink...and the only time the flight attendant came back there was to shush us so the rest of the passengers could enjoy their massages...and i think she said something about lap dances...but we made it safely and i guess that's all that matters...

3/18 local time 6:32 am
...and i'm slightly innebreated...ini...innebriated...whatever...i'll let the spell check catch it...we caught dinner shortly after we arrived in barcelona and had some of the livest paella the world has ever seen...that pan was chocked full of sea creatures...most of which were dead...it was time consuming yet vurr tasty...following dinner i decided i needed to be apart of the barcelona night life...so decided to go back to the room and mentally prepare myself for whatever the city had to offer...a funny thing happened on the way back out the door...i tripped over the bed and ended up sleeping until 1:45 am...in alot cities and for a lot of people that means game over...but i was positive i wasn't gonna be able to get back to sleep so i decided to test that 30 yr old stamina...you know i used to beat that block...now i...still beat that block...my hotel is located real close to la rambla where a lot of activity takes place...i jumped out in them streets...one thing i try to keep in mind when strolling through foreign city streets late at night is trying not to look like a mark...so no rolling dolo...uncheck...always have an idea where you're going before you leave...uncheck...and always know the address of the place you're staying...uhh...hmm...maybe i should've thought this through...oh and if you ever end up on a street where they are smoking crack in the open, you've probably made a wrong turn...and if you're not very careful, you may end up financing that next round of crack...after making two such wrong turns i decided the 3rd time probably wouldn't be the charm so i hailed the next taxi and told him to drop me off at the corner of safe and sound...the spot he ended up taking me to played almost all spanish house techno...which meant my time there had to be short lived...not far away was the olympic port where they had a series of bars and smoking/drinking lounges...i settled in there...barcelona has some bad chicks and i have some bad spanish...in this case 2 negatives don't make a positive...i did manage to make a couple friends...even got a number that i have no idea how to dial...probably for the best since i can't point at stuff and draw pictures over the phone...by the way by new spanish name is "wingman de guapo"...

3/22 local 4:14 pm
work, weird sleeping habits and a european cold front has made the rest of the week slightly uneventful...i did manage to make it out for one more night of tomfoolery in barcelona though...too tame to really document though...

so on my last day in the city my diddy complex kicked in and i decided to rent a yacht to cruise the mediterranean for a couple hours...cuz that's kinda what i do these days...how can you beat sunny skies and 6 or 7 scantly clad spanish chicas whispering that espaniol...now imagine for a second that any syllable of that were true...guess what you would've been able to tell me...let me tell you what you would've been able to tell me................................................................. nutchin...so the yacht was more like a pair of jordan 5's...and the mediterranean was more like a crowded street...and those scantly clad chicas were actually pigeons...but i'm pretty sure they spoke spanish...

i was this close (imagine me holding my fingers as if i were pinching the nipple of an anorexic midget) to making it happen though...that whole language barrier had me feeling like i was on the verge of being had...so i stepped down and decided to walk through the streets in the daytime...just to see how life unfolds on a work day...oddly enough it looked like the weekend...must've been all the tourist...i decided to stop and grab a bite and some people watchage on one of these busy streets...so i'm sitting there...fork in hand...as this cat walks by in what looked to be some tight black draws...i heard a lot of the on lookers gasp and such...apparently they had never seen tight black draws in public before...at that moment the guy decided to do a 180 and face in my direction...it unfolded like a scene from a horrible dream...almost in slow motion...as his turn was completed, i found myself face to face with his "mr. snufflefucus"...those weren't draws...it was a "draws" tattoo...uh...check please....

on another note...i've been following this story (not by choice) about the pakistan cricket coach who died peacefully in his sleep following his team being ousted from world cricket championship...well turns out his dying wasn't so peaceful after all...he died by "asphyxiation by manual strangulation"...he got choked out (b howell and a plana, those slang cards are really coming in handy)...so 4 days after announcing the peaceful sleep scenario, the jamaican authorities held a press conference to discuss their new findings...all i could think was the jamaican csi crew is probably the last group i would want investigating my homocide...i guess strangulation marks and signs of struggle are pretty difficult to see through the "trees"...or maybe they don't get law and order down there...in any event, i've crossed coaching pakistani cricket off of my list of things to do...as a matter of fact, i was sitting up watching cricket and got scared because i started understanding too much of it...so i turned the tv off...locked and latched the hotel door...boobie trapped the window 4 coke bottle caps, some chewed bubble gum and a picture of flavor flav...then i wrapped myself in the word...amen...

3/23 local time 2:10 am
so i was supposed to go hard in london tonight...but nothing softens me up quicker than my first glimpse at the 2007 ncaa college basketball tournament...they were actually showing the games on london tv...besides, it's 34 degrees and raining...and i am a tropical people (what up j brown)...i'll get it next time...man i'm tired as shit and i still got 87 hours of flights ahead of me...

3/26 local time 10:22 am
back on the west coast...safe and sound...since i had planned on getting in them london streets, i got mad pounds left in my wallet...as has become customary i will distribute these to a "few" of my closest associates...
2£ (now that's fancy) - k craig for deciding to make that move...
2£ y caviness for being so quick with london info...that i didn't use...
3£ e rutledge for scooping me from the airport...
1£ j jones for that scrumptious din din...i got faith in you...
3£ k billups for hooking up the sat night joint...
1£ m story for keeping the art of the "shout out" alive...
2£ r lauren for coming through for ya boy in the clutch...that's right...the belt too...
2£ s koiner for ya life...
2£ m joshi for being the msoo...most sought out other...
3.1£ e & a barnes for capturing the cryspus attucks carnage and sharing it with the world...
2£ t h-riley for putting that whole motherhood thing to the side for a weekend...
4£ a rickets and b simmons for never giving up...
1£ w cooper...congrats pimpin...
2£ s bell holding me down for that last hour in london...
3£r dailey and s baxter...you know why...
4£ c gunn for what's about to happen on south beach...
-1£ k robinson for ditching me for manchester...
1£ t parker...strictly based on the way we met...who woulda thunk you'd be around for the 30th...
3£ to the cartwrights for helping add to the drobe...
2£ c strickland for the way you rode that bull...yee friggin ha...
-1£ s quinlan for letting another man come between us...just got your msg...
2£ former uk baskeball coach t smith...just be glad you didn't coach cricket...
-1£ c hampshire...monday morning is unacceptable...
-3£ t noel...you missed it plurr
all remaining £'s to those who floated through LA...and made that weekend so "pure"...i'm forever grateful and glad that everyone...except that one table faced dude...had such a good time...

and fyi...here are the next stops on the b-day tour
lynchburg va 4-1 - 4/3...don't ask...
mia 4/6 - 4/8
munich 4/16 - 4/20

i'm getting too old for this shit...30's the new 20 like fat is the new skinny...or like quarters are the new pennies....


holla atcha boi.....................................