donde esta' la bibliotheca, pedro...
alert the authorities cuz i've breached the borders again...this time to the only place in the world with more mexicans than l. a...and no it's not texas...that's right...mexico...home of piñatas, taco bell and chihuahuas...it's north america's version of "one of these kids is doing his own thing"...or maybe more like bruh man from martin the way they keep sneaking into the country...
mexico invented hustling...simply stated, mexico is what jamaica wants to be when it grows up...
when i visit a new country i'm usually hell bent on ditching the hotel room to hug a few locals, but mexico didn't really give me that "come hug me" vibe...sure it was cool that you could buy newspapers, chico sticks, marlboros, cotton candy, batteries, a stop watch, a clown suit, and an 11 year old drug mule on the same corner...from the same 8 year old kid...but all that "let me put this gun in your face so i can relieve you of all your valuables" madness...not cool...it probably didn't help that i was in the real mexico not that soft touristy cabo/cancun jive everyone always raves about...nope...i was in cuernavaca...it's spanish for "what am i going to do with all this dope"...i think i just made that up...however it is a widely known fact that mexico is mustache deep in the drug trade...trafficking billions of dollars of blow straight across the border by any means necessary...it's so deep that i'm almost positive our little shampoo making operation down there is just a front to move more of that powder...there's got to be a reason why the plant has armed guards...and the plant manager wears a vest and rides in a maybach...and they make the employees get naked when they come to work...or maybe the ladies just did that because i was there...that was a joke mr. unilever...please don't relieve me of my shampoo flipping duties...unless you plan to give me a sizeable severance package that would allow me to lay up in a hammock, eat honey buns and write until my wit bleeds...i digress...
so i managed to survive my stint in the deep deep south without getting kidnapped, mugged or shaken down by local law enforcement...i did get a chance to tour some of cuernavaca and mexico city...both very colorful places...like maybe at some point in their history they pissed off crayola, the god of color, and he rained down hues upon them with great wrath and fury...or maybe somebody put mexico city in the washing machine with a 16 pack of magic markers...in any event, riding around looking at the buildings made me feel like i was stuck in some super-sized kaleidoscope...or maybe i was just stuck at the intersection of lsd and sherwin williams...
all in all, mexico was a positive experience...the hotel was banging...and so were some of the chicas...due to the work schedule and my bitching up at the prospects of going it alone at night, i didn't really make any new friends...but i did get to see my first cock fight...or maybe those were just feathered mexican midgets...whatever they were, they were fierce...and i managed to escape the ire of mr montezuma...to those unaware...montezuma's revenge is the term given to the watery ass-fire that usually ensues when unsuspecting americans drink from the tap (or other beverages containing local water)down here...a couple of the co-workers got done in...not pretty..
...and with that, i'll sign off but not without dispersing a few pesos (they've been grossed up to account for the conversion rate)...
417 pesos to m joshi...congrats on the promo...it was long overdue...
604 pesos to f craig...welcome to the world of steady checks...
331 pesos to s brown, t houston and l parker...welcome to the dirty thirty club...
173 pesos to l jenkins for being the first one to read down this far...
279 pesos to h box for getting me acquainted with 17 different crushes...even though i don't even know 17 people...
954 pesos to c attucks for surviving another move...
263 pesos to m wright and l mccarley in lieu of real bday presents...
262 pesos to y caviness in lieu of a real house warming present...
589 pesos to k kinte for keeping it real...
-230 pesos to s bell for being a copy cat...
11 pesos to e barnes for repetitive assessments of my dining practices...
333 pesos to m ewing to split equally between you and your 2 new friends...
179 pesos to j mcduffie for giving me my first role in a major film...you've received pesos so now you're locked into it...
56 pesos to j davis for hooking me up with big sister davis...
506 pesos to r dailey for taking the white man out of the drug trade...
whew...looks like i'm peso'ed out...
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
taking you old school...
now you know i had to do it...i told myself...i said "self...you're supposed to be writing this book...you need to save these words or face some form of corporal punishment"...but once i smelled that foreign air...shoooot...you know "self' couldn't resist...now turn to your neighbor and say "neighbor, i don't know why the hell i'm talking to you when i should be reading the most interesting blog posted this week...about europe...in english...containing the term extravaganzicificatiotarinorium"
now where should i begin...oh yeah...my intro...ahem...what up folks...it's your boy mikecraig...aka mr dirty thirty...
i know it's early but i'd like to pause for a second, if i may to reflect on the "i'm so hot still" b-day weekend extravaganzicificatiotarinorium...i would def like to thank all who made that trip out west to help your boy say hello to tre O...to those that missed it...you really really missed it...special shouts to my co host for the weekend...r dailey and s baxter...also thanks to those who couldn't attend but were still thoughtful enough to hit me with those birthday shouts through email, text, phone calls, myspace msg and comments, facebook wall postings and msgs, cards sent through the usps sans cash, cookie boxes, cookie canisters and telepathic "i really forgot your birthday but you know i still love you's"...and now back to our regularly scheduled foolishness...
...aka mr "you ain't got enough stamps in your passport to cuf with young michael...international"...aka mr "i wish he would get started already"...aka mr "it's my blog i'll write when i want to" ...as has become customary since nov 2001, when my passport gets a new stamp, you get a new story...or series of stories...so here's how this trip should unfold:
3/11 early pm- leave la and all the b-day love...
3/11 later pm - post up in ohare for a few hours before making that huge leap across the pond
3/12 am - arrive in london uk
3/12 pm - jump over to munich germany
3/13 pm - bounce up to hamburg germany (layover in london)
3/17 am - shoot over to barcelona spain (layover in london)
3/22 am - back to london (go hard in london for one night)
3/23 pm - another european tour bites the dust...
i don't know about you, but i'm tired just thinking about it...
3/12 local time 11:13 am
ok...wrinkle number 1...my flight to chicago, became my flight to jfk...apparently my suitcase wasn't quite ready to leave the country so he decided to chill in jfk a little longer...and of course he decided not to let me know...so imagine my surprise as i go to claim my bag and there are no more bags left to claim...so i walk to the baggage service counter...within the first 37 seconds of standing there, i was informed that my bag didn't make the london flight...no shit...but i appreciated the prompt response...but i was wondering...since they obviously knew...couldn't they have just told me that while i was on the plane...like "i have some connecting flight information and oh, by the way...mr craig, you going to baggage claim now would be like a parapalegic getting a 43 minute butt massage...time consuming and pointless"...or "you walkin outta here with your bag is like a man with no arms trying to do a cart wheel...prolly not gon happen"...ooh...or "your bag is in the land of seven year olds' front teeth, shaq's free throws and black fathers... "missing"...but the dude seemed cool enough, we came up with a plan that should help me reconnect with my bag fairly soon and i went off to get acclamated to my new uk surroundings...but i forgot to turn my currency calculator on as i proceeded to spend 51 pounds ($102) on jeans, 23 pounds ($46) on draws and 27 pounds ($54) on undershirts...me and mr american airlines are going to have long talk or a short talk and a big misunderstanding when i get back...
3/14 local time 3:43 pm
hamburg we have a problem...since i was only in munich for 1 day, i told the airline not to forward the bag there...just thought it would be easier to have them send it to the next stop on the "b-day afterglow european tour" which was hamburg...i must've been mistaken because it is now wed and the bag is somewhere between hamburg and lost...and my guess is it's closer to lost...and to compound my hamburg problems a wee bit, i get to my rental car, with the gps system i requested only to find said system in german...SCHEISSE...that's every curse word in german...unfortunately my german is not exactly fluent...i know how to count to 3 and as you can see...how to curse...and that's really only good for counting how many pairs of draws i currently have in my possesion...and expressing my displeasure...lucky for me, i was the last car to be picked up that night and the avis guy saw me sobbing on his way out...ok, i wasn't really crying i was just trying to wash my cheeks with salt water...daang...any way...he asked me if all was well...i informed him that i had not seen "well" in a few days, but if we could get this gps joint into english i might be able to track it down...michael said it and it is done...
3/15 local time 1:12 am
my bag showed up today...and i just rediscovered german tv after midnight...i don't know exactly what they're selling but from the visuals it must be some kind of breast/vaginal cream...
3/17 local time 6:12 am
just got in from the "reeperbahn" in hamburg...it's the red light/club district in the city...i came across one of those black hip hop parties that i so enjoyed on previous trips to germany...this one was actually even better...from the moment i walked in, i felt like i was the "scheisse"...i was standing on the side of the dance floor gripping my newly purchased jack and cola when i noticed mad chicks starting to congregate in front of me...grindin on each other like they do in all of my club dreams... side bar...watching people dance in germany is probably a glimse into how white people in the us would dance if they didn't have bet to immulate... so as a stood there in near amazement one of the bouncers/dj's friends invited me up to the vip section...and all i could think was "damn...it get's better than this"...must be the copper wings on the new rocawear jacket...so now that my drinks were covered for the rest of the night i made myself comfortable between a couch and said bucket o' dranky drank...about 29 mins later they decided to have a 100 euro "shake your (woman private)" contest...which i now had a front row seat to...not quite as liberal as those spur of the moment skin to win contest back at fam...but entertaining none the less...throughout the night i found out that they had mad brothels and for 50 euro you can "make party with girls"...if only i hadn't bought that drink...the winner of the contest did offer to ride back to the hotel with me since my german wasn't so good (i must be wearing 30 well)...but after seeing what she did in that contest, i had to turn that down...got a flight to catch in a few hours and having a heart attack would probably make me late...now i guess i'll have to "make party with myself"...
3/17 local time 7:41 pm
so we arrived in barcelona today via british airways flight 480...in economy class...i never knew there was anything less than coach...maybe because on most flights there isn't...but on this particular flight...this flight right here...this flight right here ninja...there was such a thing...i felt like i was on soul plane...the seats were less cushioned and smaller...our tv monitor was in black and white...they didn't give us any safety instructions...the lavratory was a hole out the side of the plane...so when people went in, everybody on that side of the plane had to let their windows back up...as a snack, they just passed around a bag of sun flower seeds...unsalted...and a jug of red drink...and the only time the flight attendant came back there was to shush us so the rest of the passengers could enjoy their massages...and i think she said something about lap dances...but we made it safely and i guess that's all that matters...
3/18 local time 6:32 am
...and i'm slightly innebreated...ini...innebriated...whatever...i'll let the spell check catch it...we caught dinner shortly after we arrived in barcelona and had some of the livest paella the world has ever seen...that pan was chocked full of sea creatures...most of which were dead...it was time consuming yet vurr tasty...following dinner i decided i needed to be apart of the barcelona night life...so decided to go back to the room and mentally prepare myself for whatever the city had to offer...a funny thing happened on the way back out the door...i tripped over the bed and ended up sleeping until 1:45 am...in alot cities and for a lot of people that means game over...but i was positive i wasn't gonna be able to get back to sleep so i decided to test that 30 yr old stamina...you know i used to beat that block...now i...still beat that block...my hotel is located real close to la rambla where a lot of activity takes place...i jumped out in them streets...one thing i try to keep in mind when strolling through foreign city streets late at night is trying not to look like a mark...so no rolling dolo...uncheck...always have an idea where you're going before you leave...uncheck...and always know the address of the place you're staying...uhh...hmm...maybe i should've thought this through...oh and if you ever end up on a street where they are smoking crack in the open, you've probably made a wrong turn...and if you're not very careful, you may end up financing that next round of crack...after making two such wrong turns i decided the 3rd time probably wouldn't be the charm so i hailed the next taxi and told him to drop me off at the corner of safe and sound...the spot he ended up taking me to played almost all spanish house techno...which meant my time there had to be short lived...not far away was the olympic port where they had a series of bars and smoking/drinking lounges...i settled in there...barcelona has some bad chicks and i have some bad spanish...in this case 2 negatives don't make a positive...i did manage to make a couple friends...even got a number that i have no idea how to dial...probably for the best since i can't point at stuff and draw pictures over the phone...by the way by new spanish name is "wingman de guapo"...
3/22 local 4:14 pm
work, weird sleeping habits and a european cold front has made the rest of the week slightly uneventful...i did manage to make it out for one more night of tomfoolery in barcelona though...too tame to really document though...
so on my last day in the city my diddy complex kicked in and i decided to rent a yacht to cruise the mediterranean for a couple hours...cuz that's kinda what i do these days...how can you beat sunny skies and 6 or 7 scantly clad spanish chicas whispering that espaniol...now imagine for a second that any syllable of that were true...guess what you would've been able to tell me...let me tell you what you would've been able to tell me................................................................. nutchin...so the yacht was more like a pair of jordan 5's...and the mediterranean was more like a crowded street...and those scantly clad chicas were actually pigeons...but i'm pretty sure they spoke spanish...
i was this close (imagine me holding my fingers as if i were pinching the nipple of an anorexic midget) to making it happen though...that whole language barrier had me feeling like i was on the verge of being had...so i stepped down and decided to walk through the streets in the daytime...just to see how life unfolds on a work day...oddly enough it looked like the weekend...must've been all the tourist...i decided to stop and grab a bite and some people watchage on one of these busy streets...so i'm sitting there...fork in hand...as this cat walks by in what looked to be some tight black draws...i heard a lot of the on lookers gasp and such...apparently they had never seen tight black draws in public before...at that moment the guy decided to do a 180 and face in my direction...it unfolded like a scene from a horrible dream...almost in slow motion...as his turn was completed, i found myself face to face with his "mr. snufflefucus"...those weren't draws...it was a "draws" tattoo...uh...check please....
on another note...i've been following this story (not by choice) about the pakistan cricket coach who died peacefully in his sleep following his team being ousted from world cricket championship...well turns out his dying wasn't so peaceful after all...he died by "asphyxiation by manual strangulation"...he got choked out (b howell and a plana, those slang cards are really coming in handy)...so 4 days after announcing the peaceful sleep scenario, the jamaican authorities held a press conference to discuss their new findings...all i could think was the jamaican csi crew is probably the last group i would want investigating my homocide...i guess strangulation marks and signs of struggle are pretty difficult to see through the "trees"...or maybe they don't get law and order down there...in any event, i've crossed coaching pakistani cricket off of my list of things to do...as a matter of fact, i was sitting up watching cricket and got scared because i started understanding too much of it...so i turned the tv off...locked and latched the hotel door...boobie trapped the window 4 coke bottle caps, some chewed bubble gum and a picture of flavor flav...then i wrapped myself in the word...amen...
3/23 local time 2:10 am
so i was supposed to go hard in london tonight...but nothing softens me up quicker than my first glimpse at the 2007 ncaa college basketball tournament...they were actually showing the games on london tv...besides, it's 34 degrees and raining...and i am a tropical people (what up j brown)...i'll get it next time...man i'm tired as shit and i still got 87 hours of flights ahead of me...
3/26 local time 10:22 am
back on the west coast...safe and sound...since i had planned on getting in them london streets, i got mad pounds left in my wallet...as has become customary i will distribute these to a "few" of my closest associates...
2£ (now that's fancy) - k craig for deciding to make that move...
2£ y caviness for being so quick with london info...that i didn't use...
3£ e rutledge for scooping me from the airport...
1£ j jones for that scrumptious din din...i got faith in you...
3£ k billups for hooking up the sat night joint...
1£ m story for keeping the art of the "shout out" alive...
2£ r lauren for coming through for ya boy in the clutch...that's right...the belt too...
2£ s koiner for ya life...
2£ m joshi for being the msoo...most sought out other...
3.1£ e & a barnes for capturing the cryspus attucks carnage and sharing it with the world...
2£ t h-riley for putting that whole motherhood thing to the side for a weekend...
4£ a rickets and b simmons for never giving up...
1£ w cooper...congrats pimpin...
2£ s bell holding me down for that last hour in london...
3£r dailey and s baxter...you know why...
4£ c gunn for what's about to happen on south beach...
-1£ k robinson for ditching me for manchester...
1£ t parker...strictly based on the way we met...who woulda thunk you'd be around for the 30th...
3£ to the cartwrights for helping add to the drobe...
2£ c strickland for the way you rode that bull...yee friggin ha...
-1£ s quinlan for letting another man come between us...just got your msg...
2£ former uk baskeball coach t smith...just be glad you didn't coach cricket...
-1£ c hampshire...monday morning is unacceptable...
-3£ t noel...you missed it plurr
all remaining £'s to those who floated through LA...and made that weekend so "pure"...i'm forever grateful and glad that everyone...except that one table faced dude...had such a good time...
and fyi...here are the next stops on the b-day tour
lynchburg va 4-1 - 4/3...don't ask...
mia 4/6 - 4/8
munich 4/16 - 4/20
i'm getting too old for this shit...30's the new 20 like fat is the new skinny...or like quarters are the new pennies....
holla atcha boi.....................................
now you know i had to do it...i told myself...i said "self...you're supposed to be writing this book...you need to save these words or face some form of corporal punishment"...but once i smelled that foreign air...shoooot...you know "self' couldn't resist...now turn to your neighbor and say "neighbor, i don't know why the hell i'm talking to you when i should be reading the most interesting blog posted this week...about europe...in english...containing the term extravaganzicificatiotarinorium"
now where should i begin...oh yeah...my intro...ahem...what up folks...it's your boy mikecraig...aka mr dirty thirty...
i know it's early but i'd like to pause for a second, if i may to reflect on the "i'm so hot still" b-day weekend extravaganzicificatiotarinorium...i would def like to thank all who made that trip out west to help your boy say hello to tre O...to those that missed it...you really really missed it...special shouts to my co host for the weekend...r dailey and s baxter...also thanks to those who couldn't attend but were still thoughtful enough to hit me with those birthday shouts through email, text, phone calls, myspace msg and comments, facebook wall postings and msgs, cards sent through the usps sans cash, cookie boxes, cookie canisters and telepathic "i really forgot your birthday but you know i still love you's"...and now back to our regularly scheduled foolishness...
...aka mr "you ain't got enough stamps in your passport to cuf with young michael...international"...aka mr "i wish he would get started already"...aka mr "it's my blog i'll write when i want to" ...as has become customary since nov 2001, when my passport gets a new stamp, you get a new story...or series of stories...so here's how this trip should unfold:
3/11 early pm- leave la and all the b-day love...
3/11 later pm - post up in ohare for a few hours before making that huge leap across the pond
3/12 am - arrive in london uk
3/12 pm - jump over to munich germany
3/13 pm - bounce up to hamburg germany (layover in london)
3/17 am - shoot over to barcelona spain (layover in london)
3/22 am - back to london (go hard in london for one night)
3/23 pm - another european tour bites the dust...
i don't know about you, but i'm tired just thinking about it...
3/12 local time 11:13 am
ok...wrinkle number 1...my flight to chicago, became my flight to jfk...apparently my suitcase wasn't quite ready to leave the country so he decided to chill in jfk a little longer...and of course he decided not to let me know...so imagine my surprise as i go to claim my bag and there are no more bags left to claim...so i walk to the baggage service counter...within the first 37 seconds of standing there, i was informed that my bag didn't make the london flight...no shit...but i appreciated the prompt response...but i was wondering...since they obviously knew...couldn't they have just told me that while i was on the plane...like "i have some connecting flight information and oh, by the way...mr craig, you going to baggage claim now would be like a parapalegic getting a 43 minute butt massage...time consuming and pointless"...or "you walkin outta here with your bag is like a man with no arms trying to do a cart wheel...prolly not gon happen"...ooh...or "your bag is in the land of seven year olds' front teeth, shaq's free throws and black fathers... "missing"...but the dude seemed cool enough, we came up with a plan that should help me reconnect with my bag fairly soon and i went off to get acclamated to my new uk surroundings...but i forgot to turn my currency calculator on as i proceeded to spend 51 pounds ($102) on jeans, 23 pounds ($46) on draws and 27 pounds ($54) on undershirts...me and mr american airlines are going to have long talk or a short talk and a big misunderstanding when i get back...
3/14 local time 3:43 pm
hamburg we have a problem...since i was only in munich for 1 day, i told the airline not to forward the bag there...just thought it would be easier to have them send it to the next stop on the "b-day afterglow european tour" which was hamburg...i must've been mistaken because it is now wed and the bag is somewhere between hamburg and lost...and my guess is it's closer to lost...and to compound my hamburg problems a wee bit, i get to my rental car, with the gps system i requested only to find said system in german...SCHEISSE...that's every curse word in german...unfortunately my german is not exactly fluent...i know how to count to 3 and as you can see...how to curse...and that's really only good for counting how many pairs of draws i currently have in my possesion...and expressing my displeasure...lucky for me, i was the last car to be picked up that night and the avis guy saw me sobbing on his way out...ok, i wasn't really crying i was just trying to wash my cheeks with salt water...daang...any way...he asked me if all was well...i informed him that i had not seen "well" in a few days, but if we could get this gps joint into english i might be able to track it down...michael said it and it is done...
3/15 local time 1:12 am
my bag showed up today...and i just rediscovered german tv after midnight...i don't know exactly what they're selling but from the visuals it must be some kind of breast/vaginal cream...
3/17 local time 6:12 am
just got in from the "reeperbahn" in hamburg...it's the red light/club district in the city...i came across one of those black hip hop parties that i so enjoyed on previous trips to germany...this one was actually even better...from the moment i walked in, i felt like i was the "scheisse"...i was standing on the side of the dance floor gripping my newly purchased jack and cola when i noticed mad chicks starting to congregate in front of me...grindin on each other like they do in all of my club dreams... side bar...watching people dance in germany is probably a glimse into how white people in the us would dance if they didn't have bet to immulate... so as a stood there in near amazement one of the bouncers/dj's friends invited me up to the vip section...and all i could think was "damn...it get's better than this"...must be the copper wings on the new rocawear jacket...so now that my drinks were covered for the rest of the night i made myself comfortable between a couch and said bucket o' dranky drank...about 29 mins later they decided to have a 100 euro "shake your (woman private)" contest...which i now had a front row seat to...not quite as liberal as those spur of the moment skin to win contest back at fam...but entertaining none the less...throughout the night i found out that they had mad brothels and for 50 euro you can "make party with girls"...if only i hadn't bought that drink...the winner of the contest did offer to ride back to the hotel with me since my german wasn't so good (i must be wearing 30 well)...but after seeing what she did in that contest, i had to turn that down...got a flight to catch in a few hours and having a heart attack would probably make me late...now i guess i'll have to "make party with myself"...
3/17 local time 7:41 pm
so we arrived in barcelona today via british airways flight 480...in economy class...i never knew there was anything less than coach...maybe because on most flights there isn't...but on this particular flight...this flight right here...this flight right here ninja...there was such a thing...i felt like i was on soul plane...the seats were less cushioned and smaller...our tv monitor was in black and white...they didn't give us any safety instructions...the lavratory was a hole out the side of the plane...so when people went in, everybody on that side of the plane had to let their windows back up...as a snack, they just passed around a bag of sun flower seeds...unsalted...and a jug of red drink...and the only time the flight attendant came back there was to shush us so the rest of the passengers could enjoy their massages...and i think she said something about lap dances...but we made it safely and i guess that's all that matters...
3/18 local time 6:32 am
...and i'm slightly innebreated...ini...innebriated...whatever...i'll let the spell check catch it...we caught dinner shortly after we arrived in barcelona and had some of the livest paella the world has ever seen...that pan was chocked full of sea creatures...most of which were dead...it was time consuming yet vurr tasty...following dinner i decided i needed to be apart of the barcelona night life...so decided to go back to the room and mentally prepare myself for whatever the city had to offer...a funny thing happened on the way back out the door...i tripped over the bed and ended up sleeping until 1:45 am...in alot cities and for a lot of people that means game over...but i was positive i wasn't gonna be able to get back to sleep so i decided to test that 30 yr old stamina...you know i used to beat that block...now i...still beat that block...my hotel is located real close to la rambla where a lot of activity takes place...i jumped out in them streets...one thing i try to keep in mind when strolling through foreign city streets late at night is trying not to look like a mark...so no rolling dolo...uncheck...always have an idea where you're going before you leave...uncheck...and always know the address of the place you're staying...uhh...hmm...maybe i should've thought this through...oh and if you ever end up on a street where they are smoking crack in the open, you've probably made a wrong turn...and if you're not very careful, you may end up financing that next round of crack...after making two such wrong turns i decided the 3rd time probably wouldn't be the charm so i hailed the next taxi and told him to drop me off at the corner of safe and sound...the spot he ended up taking me to played almost all spanish house techno...which meant my time there had to be short lived...not far away was the olympic port where they had a series of bars and smoking/drinking lounges...i settled in there...barcelona has some bad chicks and i have some bad spanish...in this case 2 negatives don't make a positive...i did manage to make a couple friends...even got a number that i have no idea how to dial...probably for the best since i can't point at stuff and draw pictures over the phone...by the way by new spanish name is "wingman de guapo"...
3/22 local 4:14 pm
work, weird sleeping habits and a european cold front has made the rest of the week slightly uneventful...i did manage to make it out for one more night of tomfoolery in barcelona though...too tame to really document though...
so on my last day in the city my diddy complex kicked in and i decided to rent a yacht to cruise the mediterranean for a couple hours...cuz that's kinda what i do these days...how can you beat sunny skies and 6 or 7 scantly clad spanish chicas whispering that espaniol...now imagine for a second that any syllable of that were true...guess what you would've been able to tell me...let me tell you what you would've been able to tell me................................................................. nutchin...so the yacht was more like a pair of jordan 5's...and the mediterranean was more like a crowded street...and those scantly clad chicas were actually pigeons...but i'm pretty sure they spoke spanish...
i was this close (imagine me holding my fingers as if i were pinching the nipple of an anorexic midget) to making it happen though...that whole language barrier had me feeling like i was on the verge of being had...so i stepped down and decided to walk through the streets in the daytime...just to see how life unfolds on a work day...oddly enough it looked like the weekend...must've been all the tourist...i decided to stop and grab a bite and some people watchage on one of these busy streets...so i'm sitting there...fork in hand...as this cat walks by in what looked to be some tight black draws...i heard a lot of the on lookers gasp and such...apparently they had never seen tight black draws in public before...at that moment the guy decided to do a 180 and face in my direction...it unfolded like a scene from a horrible dream...almost in slow motion...as his turn was completed, i found myself face to face with his "mr. snufflefucus"...those weren't draws...it was a "draws" tattoo...uh...check please....
on another note...i've been following this story (not by choice) about the pakistan cricket coach who died peacefully in his sleep following his team being ousted from world cricket championship...well turns out his dying wasn't so peaceful after all...he died by "asphyxiation by manual strangulation"...he got choked out (b howell and a plana, those slang cards are really coming in handy)...so 4 days after announcing the peaceful sleep scenario, the jamaican authorities held a press conference to discuss their new findings...all i could think was the jamaican csi crew is probably the last group i would want investigating my homocide...i guess strangulation marks and signs of struggle are pretty difficult to see through the "trees"...or maybe they don't get law and order down there...in any event, i've crossed coaching pakistani cricket off of my list of things to do...as a matter of fact, i was sitting up watching cricket and got scared because i started understanding too much of it...so i turned the tv off...locked and latched the hotel door...boobie trapped the window 4 coke bottle caps, some chewed bubble gum and a picture of flavor flav...then i wrapped myself in the word...amen...
3/23 local time 2:10 am
so i was supposed to go hard in london tonight...but nothing softens me up quicker than my first glimpse at the 2007 ncaa college basketball tournament...they were actually showing the games on london tv...besides, it's 34 degrees and raining...and i am a tropical people (what up j brown)...i'll get it next time...man i'm tired as shit and i still got 87 hours of flights ahead of me...
3/26 local time 10:22 am
back on the west coast...safe and sound...since i had planned on getting in them london streets, i got mad pounds left in my wallet...as has become customary i will distribute these to a "few" of my closest associates...
2£ (now that's fancy) - k craig for deciding to make that move...
2£ y caviness for being so quick with london info...that i didn't use...
3£ e rutledge for scooping me from the airport...
1£ j jones for that scrumptious din din...i got faith in you...
3£ k billups for hooking up the sat night joint...
1£ m story for keeping the art of the "shout out" alive...
2£ r lauren for coming through for ya boy in the clutch...that's right...the belt too...
2£ s koiner for ya life...
2£ m joshi for being the msoo...most sought out other...
3.1£ e & a barnes for capturing the cryspus attucks carnage and sharing it with the world...
2£ t h-riley for putting that whole motherhood thing to the side for a weekend...
4£ a rickets and b simmons for never giving up...
1£ w cooper...congrats pimpin...
2£ s bell holding me down for that last hour in london...
3£r dailey and s baxter...you know why...
4£ c gunn for what's about to happen on south beach...
-1£ k robinson for ditching me for manchester...
1£ t parker...strictly based on the way we met...who woulda thunk you'd be around for the 30th...
3£ to the cartwrights for helping add to the drobe...
2£ c strickland for the way you rode that bull...yee friggin ha...
-1£ s quinlan for letting another man come between us...just got your msg...
2£ former uk baskeball coach t smith...just be glad you didn't coach cricket...
-1£ c hampshire...monday morning is unacceptable...
-3£ t noel...you missed it plurr
all remaining £'s to those who floated through LA...and made that weekend so "pure"...i'm forever grateful and glad that everyone...except that one table faced dude...had such a good time...
and fyi...here are the next stops on the b-day tour
lynchburg va 4-1 - 4/3...don't ask...
mia 4/6 - 4/8
munich 4/16 - 4/20
i'm getting too old for this shit...30's the new 20 like fat is the new skinny...or like quarters are the new pennies....
holla atcha boi.....................................
Saturday, November 25, 2006
it’ s that time again...time for “thank you” 2006...growing up, i never really had much...so it always made me thankful for the few things i did have...as i’ve gotten older...and i am old...i’ve amassed a few more things, namely an ipod, an xbox 360 and an overwhelming urge to yodel...but more important than all that, i’ve scooped up a few friends...and i don’t mean the “myspace i’m your friend cuz you showed me your boobies” type friend...i mean people that have, in one way or another made me happy to be alive...so i’d like to take this time to thank you all over again...it’s me giving thanks...so i think i shall call this day thanksgiving...
p craig for not drinking or smoking crack whilst i was gestating...
k craig convincing me to make that move
f craig for running that rock back in ‘87...
m joshi for that cake back at famu homecoming ’99...the homies are still talking about it...
s bell for unlocking the door 17 times
s brown for helping me start asshole inc
c gunn for testing out them marriage waters
s murphy for hiding those midgets under your shirt
m story for sacrificing your cincy life so your boy didn’t have to wait in them lines dolo
t baker for keeping your options open
r gherls for helping me pass time at the atl airport
t houston-riley for grabbing some chipolte with your boy...
t matthews for getting rid of those distractions
f carter for getting me sick at the melting pot
b jones for the drunk dial
j holiday for promising me a florida girl...pay up...
e jenkins for giving my home state something to look at
t noel for letting me lay down those platinum commercials
n azali always holding out on the greenery
e azali for allowing us to pick you up in a strip club parking lot
e barnes the 3sp that never happened
y caviness for taking me on my first l. a. tour
c strickland telling me to get in the backseat...touche’
t slaughter for that valentine’s day dance ensemble in ‘92
e rutledge for walking to the store with me in dc
ap brodie for deciding to come back into my life after 20 years
ad brodie for being the twin i was trying to get at in ‘85
t massey for that 3 week relationship
y baez for always throwing me the free drink spots...even if i haven’t made one yet
j holt for the mlk conference ‘94
r dailey for putting your boy up on the l. a. social scene
l u mccarly for taking me to dinner but making me pay for my half
j hatfield for keeping me on tyler’s mailing list
j n battle for allowing me to use you and your girls for that first poolside video shoot
w clark for coming to visit...but not really...and them salty greens
w cooper for letting me roll to the after party
a lewis for not saving me a groupie in st louis
k robinson for the staring game...whether i wanted to play or not
c mcdade for showing me what being a man whore was all about
a marsh for moving to a city where your social talents won’t go to waste
m johnson for being my favorite person that i never talk to
j harris for never playing any games with us
s koiner for living your life like a high budget music video
d gould for living your life like a young dapper rick james
e hillsman for living your life like a hood fairy tale
k banks for being my most secret crush
p days for making wait those extra months
r robertson for carrying on that nati legacy
a ohmer for stopping by to say "what's up"
c taylor for reappearing for my going away party
a lee for hooking up those falcons tickets
a nesbitt for periodically passing me the rock in ‘95
s owens for showing me the finer "point" of crescent springs
e king for always offering to hook me up but never doing it
m ewing for holding me down at verve...
n thompson for coming through and not getting at your cousin
m vick for making this book thing happen
k massey for being a background dancer for macadocious and mike checka
h chu for leading that hospitality committee
r solomon for introducing me to the n. o.
c wright for explaining those mood swings
s quinlan for letting me hold down that couch
t parker for making a rare southern appearance
d williams for finally settling down
b simmonds for holding out on them atl pix
m geter-cartright for rolling to my 1st chocolate sunday
d bullard for pushing me to the stage so i could get my freestyle on homecoming ‘96
j brown for letting me roll with you bayou classic ’02...even though we didn’t get in anywhere
t harris for being extremely m i a
c ingram for getting healthy
b beasely davis for being so open to new ideas
k martin for repping hard over in germany
s binns for staying fashion forward
t hunt for puttin me on your lawyer friend...whenever it happens
a avionn for letting me roll with you to the grocery store
c james for escaping the hoop
w kolston for trying to molest me in public...still our secret
s fulgham for snapping a few photos with your boy in the a
b bradford for that little jig in front of mase’s crib
an lewis for not giving in to the virtual friend craze
d fowler for giving me a 2nd chance
m bolden-?????? for jumpin that broom
k brown for never visiting me in pasadena
k silva for never making me pay for meals
t brown for that fried chicken and for puttin me back in the top 68
s daniel for the earrings of gold
s moore for picking story
e vanross for giving me a reason to wake up on time while in stl
r green for the summer ’99 flashes
a hodgen for always dipping before i get to birmingham
d foster - ????? for keeping our love child a secret
c kinnebrew for moving back out west...knew you couldn’t stay away
m mobley for letting me host the bachelor party
l reeves for getting back on that music grind
d rowe for ffl donation this year
r rosemond for checking in on ya boy
last but not least, i want to thank…. myself ...again...for taking this time to run back my life...feel free to add memories...as i also reserve the right to go back and add my own...
p craig for not drinking or smoking crack whilst i was gestating...
k craig convincing me to make that move
f craig for running that rock back in ‘87...
m joshi for that cake back at famu homecoming ’99...the homies are still talking about it...
s bell for unlocking the door 17 times
s brown for helping me start asshole inc
c gunn for testing out them marriage waters
s murphy for hiding those midgets under your shirt
m story for sacrificing your cincy life so your boy didn’t have to wait in them lines dolo
t baker for keeping your options open
r gherls for helping me pass time at the atl airport
t houston-riley for grabbing some chipolte with your boy...
t matthews for getting rid of those distractions
f carter for getting me sick at the melting pot
b jones for the drunk dial
j holiday for promising me a florida girl...pay up...
e jenkins for giving my home state something to look at
t noel for letting me lay down those platinum commercials
n azali always holding out on the greenery
e azali for allowing us to pick you up in a strip club parking lot
e barnes the 3sp that never happened
y caviness for taking me on my first l. a. tour
c strickland telling me to get in the backseat...touche’
t slaughter for that valentine’s day dance ensemble in ‘92
e rutledge for walking to the store with me in dc
ap brodie for deciding to come back into my life after 20 years
ad brodie for being the twin i was trying to get at in ‘85
t massey for that 3 week relationship
y baez for always throwing me the free drink spots...even if i haven’t made one yet
j holt for the mlk conference ‘94
r dailey for putting your boy up on the l. a. social scene
l u mccarly for taking me to dinner but making me pay for my half
j hatfield for keeping me on tyler’s mailing list
j n battle for allowing me to use you and your girls for that first poolside video shoot
w clark for coming to visit...but not really...and them salty greens
w cooper for letting me roll to the after party
a lewis for not saving me a groupie in st louis
k robinson for the staring game...whether i wanted to play or not
c mcdade for showing me what being a man whore was all about
a marsh for moving to a city where your social talents won’t go to waste
m johnson for being my favorite person that i never talk to
j harris for never playing any games with us
s koiner for living your life like a high budget music video
d gould for living your life like a young dapper rick james
e hillsman for living your life like a hood fairy tale
k banks for being my most secret crush
p days for making wait those extra months
r robertson for carrying on that nati legacy
a ohmer for stopping by to say "what's up"
c taylor for reappearing for my going away party
a lee for hooking up those falcons tickets
a nesbitt for periodically passing me the rock in ‘95
s owens for showing me the finer "point" of crescent springs
e king for always offering to hook me up but never doing it
m ewing for holding me down at verve...
n thompson for coming through and not getting at your cousin
m vick for making this book thing happen
k massey for being a background dancer for macadocious and mike checka
h chu for leading that hospitality committee
r solomon for introducing me to the n. o.
c wright for explaining those mood swings
s quinlan for letting me hold down that couch
t parker for making a rare southern appearance
d williams for finally settling down
b simmonds for holding out on them atl pix
m geter-cartright for rolling to my 1st chocolate sunday
d bullard for pushing me to the stage so i could get my freestyle on homecoming ‘96
j brown for letting me roll with you bayou classic ’02...even though we didn’t get in anywhere
t harris for being extremely m i a
c ingram for getting healthy
b beasely davis for being so open to new ideas
k martin for repping hard over in germany
s binns for staying fashion forward
t hunt for puttin me on your lawyer friend...whenever it happens
a avionn for letting me roll with you to the grocery store
c james for escaping the hoop
w kolston for trying to molest me in public...still our secret
s fulgham for snapping a few photos with your boy in the a
b bradford for that little jig in front of mase’s crib
an lewis for not giving in to the virtual friend craze
d fowler for giving me a 2nd chance
m bolden-?????? for jumpin that broom
k brown for never visiting me in pasadena
k silva for never making me pay for meals
t brown for that fried chicken and for puttin me back in the top 68
s daniel for the earrings of gold
s moore for picking story
e vanross for giving me a reason to wake up on time while in stl
r green for the summer ’99 flashes
a hodgen for always dipping before i get to birmingham
d foster - ????? for keeping our love child a secret
c kinnebrew for moving back out west...knew you couldn’t stay away
m mobley for letting me host the bachelor party
l reeves for getting back on that music grind
d rowe for ffl donation this year
r rosemond for checking in on ya boy
last but not least, i want to thank…. myself ...again...for taking this time to run back my life...feel free to add memories...as i also reserve the right to go back and add my own...
Saturday, November 26, 2005
time to give thanks...
i just wanted to take the time out to thank all of my friends…and if you’re reading this i consider you one of them…but i figured i would actually take it a step further and tell each one of you at least one thing that i was actually thankful for (in no particular order)…if u were left off the list just blame it on the winter weather that just arrived here in cincy…my brain slows down when the temperature drops…so where should i start…let’s start with
k craig for always reminding me of how much fun quitting day will be…
f craig for the shoe bandit song…every time i think of it i fall out...
p craig for buying me that herringbone chain…i rocked it for 9 whole years w/o one kink
m joshi for keeping me out til 4 am and making me late for tutoring that one night in ‘99
s bell for that dramatic change and sf 01
s brown for splitting those 2 for $1 double cheeseburger deals when your boy was broke
c gunn for being the funniest ninja i know and mia 03 what up blood…
s murphy for being the funniest ninjette i know
m story for being the most conceited cat i know and dc 05 i think dey like me
j holiday for putting up with m story
t baker for introducing me to the umbrella dance
r gherls for that super short term relationship
t houston-riley for copying my homework
t matthews for letting me stay at your crib when i didn’t have furniture
f carter for looking out for me when i was “scared”
b jones for speaking out for madden haters everywhere
e jenkins for not acting “cute”
t noel for the free admission
t slaughter for keepin me laughing in mr. capoot's class
e rutledge for not letting me get to 1st base in ‘94
ap brodie for our 3rd grade love affair
ad brodie for never speaking to me
j holt for ags ‘94
d wiece for showing me that white people can be cool too
j hatfield for helping d wiece with hers
w clark for them salty greens
a lewis for being the crunkest ninja alive and tor 05 cuf yo couch…
k robinson for igging me at cajun’s wharf
a marsh for canceling the parties before i wound up pregnant
m johnson for being my role model for becoming Hollywood
j harris for the little sandwiches and bread and dill dip
c taylor for falling off the face of the earth
a lee for leaving before i got too attached
a nesbitt for helping me with those youth for excellence car washes
s owens for the slumber party and the super late confession
e king for helping me hustle these gift cards
m ewing for ‘be out’ day 97
n thompson for holdin us down for t-giving ‘05
m vick for losing all my money
k massey for helping me to achieve that ‘d’ in calculus
h chu for being my favorite vietnamese aka
r solomon for makin my nyc trips more cost efficient
t parker for always letting me borrow that couch (you’re still my friend)
s ponderspikes for keeping it gangsta in the workplace
d williams for the inspiring ambition
d bullard for pushing me to the front so i could get my freestyle on in miami ‘96
j brown for making new year’s 2003 my best ever (and for the shrimp pasta)
t harris for whispering sweet nothings in my ear and disappearing
c ingram for helping me to stay employed
k martin for developing that registration system that I’m still getting credit for
s binns for pulling together that next 'hookers at the point" for hbo
t hunt for the stupid tricep excercise
e mansah for reminding me how strong i'm not
a avionn for the mp movie nights
c james for holding me down in Mehoopany
n adero for being jiggy
e karras for getting married early
s fulgham for your enlightening diary entries
b bradford for wilin out wit me in l-ville in 02
m bolden for inviting me to the prom
k brown for the dance off at the prom
s daniel for bucking the system
s moore for checking to see if i was sleep first
n grimes for having the best damn pound cake period
c favron for repping east st. louis
e vanross for reporting homicides in east st. louis
r green for hanging with us in l. a.
a hodgen for lining the chairs up perfectly after hosting the house party in my house in my absence
d foster for hanging with your boy in little rock aug ’98 and bayou classic ‘01
c kinnebrew for not taking advantage of me in my drunken state
a lambert for the whimsical evening in the cold streets of indy in mar ‘01
m lanton for the keeping me company at the big blue jean blow out
m mobley for splitting the rent in the clifton palace
j olije for always showing up when you least expect it
l reeves for rolling to philly on a whim and almost killing me on the way back
d rowe for sharing the thailand stories
r rosemond for the sun chips
b jackson for not beating me too bad on the pool table
d ogundele for being trina before trina
m geter-cartright for supplying liquor to minors
t taylor for accompanying me as mr. gibbs hall
b williams riding to olive garden with me that one day
last but not least, i want to thank….
myself for taking time remind myself of all the good people i’ve come across in life…i love you all and hope this message can remind you of at least one good time…but if it reminds you of others please don’t hesitate to share those with me as well…lord knows i love to re-live a good time
i just wanted to take the time out to thank all of my friends…and if you’re reading this i consider you one of them…but i figured i would actually take it a step further and tell each one of you at least one thing that i was actually thankful for (in no particular order)…if u were left off the list just blame it on the winter weather that just arrived here in cincy…my brain slows down when the temperature drops…so where should i start…let’s start with
k craig for always reminding me of how much fun quitting day will be…
f craig for the shoe bandit song…every time i think of it i fall out...
p craig for buying me that herringbone chain…i rocked it for 9 whole years w/o one kink
m joshi for keeping me out til 4 am and making me late for tutoring that one night in ‘99
s bell for that dramatic change and sf 01
s brown for splitting those 2 for $1 double cheeseburger deals when your boy was broke
c gunn for being the funniest ninja i know and mia 03 what up blood…
s murphy for being the funniest ninjette i know
m story for being the most conceited cat i know and dc 05 i think dey like me
j holiday for putting up with m story
t baker for introducing me to the umbrella dance
r gherls for that super short term relationship
t houston-riley for copying my homework
t matthews for letting me stay at your crib when i didn’t have furniture
f carter for looking out for me when i was “scared”
b jones for speaking out for madden haters everywhere
e jenkins for not acting “cute”
t noel for the free admission
t slaughter for keepin me laughing in mr. capoot's class
e rutledge for not letting me get to 1st base in ‘94
ap brodie for our 3rd grade love affair
ad brodie for never speaking to me
j holt for ags ‘94
d wiece for showing me that white people can be cool too
j hatfield for helping d wiece with hers
w clark for them salty greens
a lewis for being the crunkest ninja alive and tor 05 cuf yo couch…
k robinson for igging me at cajun’s wharf
a marsh for canceling the parties before i wound up pregnant
m johnson for being my role model for becoming Hollywood
j harris for the little sandwiches and bread and dill dip
c taylor for falling off the face of the earth
a lee for leaving before i got too attached
a nesbitt for helping me with those youth for excellence car washes
s owens for the slumber party and the super late confession
e king for helping me hustle these gift cards
m ewing for ‘be out’ day 97
n thompson for holdin us down for t-giving ‘05
m vick for losing all my money
k massey for helping me to achieve that ‘d’ in calculus
h chu for being my favorite vietnamese aka
r solomon for makin my nyc trips more cost efficient
t parker for always letting me borrow that couch (you’re still my friend)
s ponderspikes for keeping it gangsta in the workplace
d williams for the inspiring ambition
d bullard for pushing me to the front so i could get my freestyle on in miami ‘96
j brown for making new year’s 2003 my best ever (and for the shrimp pasta)
t harris for whispering sweet nothings in my ear and disappearing
c ingram for helping me to stay employed
k martin for developing that registration system that I’m still getting credit for
s binns for pulling together that next 'hookers at the point" for hbo
t hunt for the stupid tricep excercise
e mansah for reminding me how strong i'm not
a avionn for the mp movie nights
c james for holding me down in Mehoopany
n adero for being jiggy
e karras for getting married early
s fulgham for your enlightening diary entries
b bradford for wilin out wit me in l-ville in 02
m bolden for inviting me to the prom
k brown for the dance off at the prom
s daniel for bucking the system
s moore for checking to see if i was sleep first
n grimes for having the best damn pound cake period
c favron for repping east st. louis
e vanross for reporting homicides in east st. louis
r green for hanging with us in l. a.
a hodgen for lining the chairs up perfectly after hosting the house party in my house in my absence
d foster for hanging with your boy in little rock aug ’98 and bayou classic ‘01
c kinnebrew for not taking advantage of me in my drunken state
a lambert for the whimsical evening in the cold streets of indy in mar ‘01
m lanton for the keeping me company at the big blue jean blow out
m mobley for splitting the rent in the clifton palace
j olije for always showing up when you least expect it
l reeves for rolling to philly on a whim and almost killing me on the way back
d rowe for sharing the thailand stories
r rosemond for the sun chips
b jackson for not beating me too bad on the pool table
d ogundele for being trina before trina
m geter-cartright for supplying liquor to minors
t taylor for accompanying me as mr. gibbs hall
b williams riding to olive garden with me that one day
last but not least, i want to thank….
myself for taking time remind myself of all the good people i’ve come across in life…i love you all and hope this message can remind you of at least one good time…but if it reminds you of others please don’t hesitate to share those with me as well…lord knows i love to re-live a good time
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
it's official....
hello ladies and gents it's your boy mikecraig just back from a long grueling trip back to the rock...where i celebrated my 10 year high school class reunion...here's a hint...when you can talk about your 10 year high school reunion in the past tense you are officially old...so i guess i be dat...people joked with me when i told them i was headed back to the rock for the reunion about how my classmates would be dead or in jail and i'll be damned if them jokes didn't come to life throughout the weekend...however in real life these jokes weren't very funny at all...but overall the weekend was cool...all of the networking/business card exchanging left a real good taste in my mouth...i used to think there were only 2 types of people in the rock...the ones that made it out and the ones that got stuck...this weekend really showed me this other group that made it "in"...the cats that are not just cutting hair but owning barber shops...folks who have traveled to the farthest corners of the globe and returned to tell stories of epic heroism...ok there weren't many stories of heroism but i've always wanted to use that line...a couple folks who have received and accepted the calling to lead god's people...a professor...good mothers and fathers and some who are just being good old contributing members of society...and some bad ass kids...for the school itself...j. a. fair high school looked different but eerily familiar...i can still remember the days running the halls with the trademark headbands...back in the days when gang signs and weed smoke used to fill the hall way air...none of that was there when i showed up...probably because it was 6 pm and school lets out at 3:40...but that's not important....i was shocked and saddened to find out that not too long after i left the school became a dumping ground for the incorrigible ...those whom the district had given up on...i was saddened at the notion that they had enough problem children to fill a school and shocked because i thought they had been doing that since the year i got there...just another sign that it ain't all good in our community...overall i give the weekend 4.25 stars...those hot krispy kreme doughnuts i ran across on my way out definitely pushed it over the top...oh...and i forgot to tell you...if you ever want to feel really old, just go to a high school football game...definitely worked for me...until the next time...mikecraig c/o '95 senior class vp and most likely to become a millionaire is signing off...
hello ladies and gents it's your boy mikecraig just back from a long grueling trip back to the rock...where i celebrated my 10 year high school class reunion...here's a hint...when you can talk about your 10 year high school reunion in the past tense you are officially old...so i guess i be dat...people joked with me when i told them i was headed back to the rock for the reunion about how my classmates would be dead or in jail and i'll be damned if them jokes didn't come to life throughout the weekend...however in real life these jokes weren't very funny at all...but overall the weekend was cool...all of the networking/business card exchanging left a real good taste in my mouth...i used to think there were only 2 types of people in the rock...the ones that made it out and the ones that got stuck...this weekend really showed me this other group that made it "in"...the cats that are not just cutting hair but owning barber shops...folks who have traveled to the farthest corners of the globe and returned to tell stories of epic heroism...ok there weren't many stories of heroism but i've always wanted to use that line...a couple folks who have received and accepted the calling to lead god's people...a professor...good mothers and fathers and some who are just being good old contributing members of society...and some bad ass kids...for the school itself...j. a. fair high school looked different but eerily familiar...i can still remember the days running the halls with the trademark headbands...back in the days when gang signs and weed smoke used to fill the hall way air...none of that was there when i showed up...probably because it was 6 pm and school lets out at 3:40...but that's not important....i was shocked and saddened to find out that not too long after i left the school became a dumping ground for the incorrigible ...those whom the district had given up on...i was saddened at the notion that they had enough problem children to fill a school and shocked because i thought they had been doing that since the year i got there...just another sign that it ain't all good in our community...overall i give the weekend 4.25 stars...those hot krispy kreme doughnuts i ran across on my way out definitely pushed it over the top...oh...and i forgot to tell you...if you ever want to feel really old, just go to a high school football game...definitely worked for me...until the next time...mikecraig c/o '95 senior class vp and most likely to become a millionaire is signing off...
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